
The Making of Them: The British Attitude to Children and the Boarding School System
Nick Duffell
Lone Arrow Press, £20,
pp 318
ISBN 0 9537904 0 1
Rating: 3/4
Sending one's children to boarding
school has often been perceived as a
mark of privilege and the best
preparation for high office or worldly
success, particularly in Britain. Despite some
amelioration of this widely perceived notion
in recent years, it is still prevalent.
Although there are distinct benefits to
those graduating from our public school
system, the psychological costs - and their
physical, relational, and social concomitants - are rarely acknowledged. Nick Duffell
argues from his research and specialised
psychotherapy practice that this silence
about one's own personal suffering is part of
the legacy of what he calls being a "boarding
school survivor."

The public school: a place of privilege or persecution? (VIOLLET/ AFP) |
Therefore, adults who had been sent
Away - particularly at an early age - to board.
ing school from their family homes often
learnt (or "were conditioned") both to endure
unacceptably brutal interpersonal practices
such as humiliation, sexual violation, and bullying and to keep silent about them.
When these kinds of trauma emerge in
adulthood in the form of stress related
disease, inability to sustain meaningful
intimate sexual relationships, and mental and
emotional breakdowns, adults often don't
even know how to begin to acknowledge their
long.hidden pain to themselves - let alone
talk to someone else (such as their medical
practitioner) about their suffering.
This, as we know from the psychological
research evidence, often leads to further
psychosomatic difficulties in terms of over-working to the point of burnout, multiple
serious health problems, and drug and alcohol misuse. Considering that such men (it is
usually men who are debilitated in their life's
functioning in this way) are often in
positions of power and responsibility, the
psychological damage has serious and
pervasive consequences for the functioning
of our society as a whole.
Duffell, who shares both his personal
experiences and his professional expertise
in this area, suggests that the most
important first step in dealing with the
negative psychosomatic fallout in adults of
their having been sent away to boarding
school as children is acknowledging that this
problem exists.
For anyone personally or professionally
involved with this issue, this book is a
worthy and valuable aid in controlling the
problem, not only by analysing its psychological components but also by pointing out
ways to manage them. It is well written, personally direct, and based on extensive study
of the hundreds of "boarding school
survivors" with whom Duffell and his collaborators have worked over some 10 years.
I can highly recommend it for medical
practitioners.
Petruska Clarkson consultant philosopher
psychologist psychotherapist, London

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