Kiran Somani talks to Heather Pratten about her ill son's final wishes

Heather Pratten's son Nigel had a severe form of Huntington's disease. Her first husband also suffered from the disease for many years until his death. As Nigel's condition grew worse he lost his independence and with it his ability to enjoy the things that many of us take for granted. Last year, after struggling to come to terms with his illness, he decided that he couldn't go on. Nigel, who was 42, wanted to die and asked his mother to help him.

Not only did Heather Pratten have to deal with her son's death when he killed himself, she also had to deal with having helped him. She was on trial both personally and legally. I spoke to her hoping to understand her feelings about what happened.

Nigel was an artist who "always had a pencil in his hand." Mrs Pratten recollected that he used to draw his own greetings cards. As his condition grew worse he was no longer able to draw, and when he started buying cards his family became certain that something was wrong.

Nigel became "uncomfortable around people"

Mrs Pratten described how Nigel began to choke every time he ate, how his legs had begun to give way, his back to ache, and how he was losing his ability to concentrate. While struggling for something appropriate to say, I learnt that Nigel had also become "uncomfortable around people." He had been hospitalised because "he'd begun drinking to be unconscious." He found things difficult for two or three years and wasn't able to come to terms with the future. She said: "He shut himself away from all of his friends, shut himself away from everyone."

"He couldn't handle anything about the disease at all, and said that if he ever got it he would go out and shoot himself," Mrs Pratten explained. "Can you blame him?" she added.

It is clear to me that Nigel's inablity to deal with his illness had made it difficult for feelings to be discussed openly. His mother said, "It was difficult to talk to him because he was coming to terms with everything." However Nigel "began to talk," and once his illness "got into the open he became focused on the fact he wanted to die."

It's difficult to empathise with someone who's had to discuss with her son how to kill himself. So I simply listened. "He had been round to the train station but was frightened that it would be a painful death. He could still think of the people being late home from work when their trains were delayed because someone had jumped in front of a train. He tried putting his head in the gas oven but it hadn't worked. It was very painful but we became very close."

She respected her son's wishes

Although she loved her son, Mrs Pratten also respected his wishes. With his increasing loss of independence, he would say, "I can't do it." She said, "Once he told me what his intentions were I recognised it was the best way for him to go regardless of how I felt."

"I'd say, 'we are out for the day, you can still enjoy things.' He would say, 'it's not the life I want, I cannot go out with my friends, can't draw, can't do what I want to do. What have I got left?'"

A national newspaper reported: "[Nigel] swallowed the heroin and waited to die as his mother cuddled him before he fell unconscious. She waited... before placing a pillow over his face, calling an ambulance only when she was sure there was no chance he could be resuscitated."¹

Admitting that she knew that it was illegal to help Nigel end his life, Mrs Pratten said, "All that mattered to me was Nigel." At her trial the judge reportedly said, "In view of your plea and frankness to the police, I would regard you as a very brave woman." At the end of her trial she was conditionally discharged.

Mrs Pratten is reluctant to be interviewed any more. She said, "No more because it is upsetting me to keep talking about it. I will be driving along in my car and start crying, and I'm sleeping worse than ever. I hope that everyone will let me sink back into obscurity."

I asked Mrs Pratten whether she thought that Nigel's suicide would be seen by others as setting a precedent. Her reply made it clear that she had acted to help Nigel with no intention of making any statement to others. "I can speak only for Nigel and myself. It was something that Nigel wanted and I understood why he wanted it. I made a promise to him that I would help him. But it was between Nigel and myself. It's up to other people, I don't tell them to do anything. This was something I felt was right for us."

1. Smith L. Mother is freed after helping ill son to die. Times. 27 October 2000.