Lecture theatre etiquette

David McAllister imparts vital tips for all students

The lecture theatre, with the entire year assembled, provides the greatest opportunity to shine. However, it is also the site of the most spectacular downfalls. You must show more care in your behaviour there than was expected of people at court in 18th century Europe.

The first consideration is flatulence. The custom varies from school to school. However, generally, the rule is that the further you go up the ladder the louder you are permitted to be. As a first year, you mustn't let out a squeak. While, without fear of reproach, elderly professors of medicine and surgery can trumpet happily along to The Ride of the Valkyries, announcing between bars "whoops there goes another one!" Most students fit somewhere in between, except for those intercalating a degree in physiology. These talented men and women have such mastery of their autonomic system that they no longer need such basic functions.

Talking in lecture theatres is only permissible in the darkness between slides when the lecturer cannot see you. It is very bad form to continue talking when in the sight of the lecturer. Such obvious subversion of authority is never polite. Indeed, you will most likely be quizzed on the purpose and nature of your dialogue.

If this occurs, claim to have been curious over some finer point of the lecturer's subject. Do not say that you were arguing over whether he looked more like William Hague or Clive Anderson.

Where you sit in lecture theatres is equivalent to speaking with a regional accent in pre-1970s Britain. Stereotyping abounds. If you sit at the front, you are studious, at the back you are lazy, and in the middle you are, well, in the middle.

The central fallacy in this is the failure to take account of the exhibitionist element in medical schools. For some students there is nothing as gratifying as hearing their voice reverberate across the lecture theatre like a yodeller with a degree in biochemistry. - For this reason, some of the most capable students are in the high country up at the back. Similarly, some students sleep at - the front of the hall to show their apathy enthusiastically.

Talking, sitting, and bodily functions aside, the rules are simple. No smoking, eating, drinking, or asking questions on a Friday afternoon when everyone else wants to go home.

David McAllister


studentBMJ 2000;08:175-216 June ISSN 0966-6494