I am an alcoholic

Editor - I'm your average punter, a regular medical student. The only difference is I want to change because I realise that I will die if I don't or at least never live the dream most of us hold.

I am an alcoholic-that is, I'm a drunk. I started with the best of intentions. I was a good chap, second son of a religious family in Northern Ireland, had a bit of a brain so was asked to go further and did so. the only thing my mother ever asked was that I shouldn't drink so of course I didn't listen. I had a good time at the weekends until I went to university. I then became a binge drinker. I don't know why I drank like I did but I drank so much that I ended up in hospital four times, was beaten up twice, and under the care of the royal ulster constabulary twice.

I was never actually arrested although I had to sneak out of hospital before any of the teaching staff came on. by the third year, my drinking had made an impact on my academic progress and I was called to account. I was forced to come clean and admit the booze had got the best of me and ask for help.

Once I admitted my problem it seemed manageable. If I wanted to finish medical school all I had to do was stop drinking. This may sound easy but I had turned the greatest source of enjoyment into my mortal enemy. The sheer thought of going through life never drinking is enough to turn someone to drink. Fortunately, the university put me in touch with a psychologist who in turn referred me to a psychotherapist.

I am telling you this not as some sort of self recognition therapy but because I don't think enough thought is given to how much students drink, particularly medical students, who already have a reputation as heavy drinkers. I was one of the few whose drink problem was caught early but many slip through the net. I do not want to preach but hope that people will hear my tale and will not be afraid to ask for help. I have been sober for four months now and each day is a struggle. I don't know if I will ever qualify but each day is a challenge in itself.



studentBMJ 2001;09:261-304 August ISSN 0966-6494