Bent not Broken

Lauren Roche

Zymurgy Publishing, £6.99, pp267

ISBN 1 903 506026

Rating: ****

Most doctors I know started medical school straight after school or after undergraduate study. A New Zealander named Lauren Roche took an unconventional path to becoming a doctor, which included stints as a stowaway, stripper, prostitute, and drug misuser. She is now a general practitioner and describes this journey in her courageous autobiography Bent not Broken.

Roche begins with snippets and stories from her childhood which reveal instability, poverty, and abuse. At the age of 17, after several traumatic and turbulent years as a teenager, she had Christopher, her first child. Over subsequent years she misused drugs and alcohol. After a suicide attempt, Roche was admitted to a psychiatric unit at the age of 19. This was a turning point in her life, and she decided to return to high school with the aim of studying medicine, a dream many saw as “unrealistic.” Despite this, she persevered and was accepted into medical school, by now with a second child.

Upon entry into medicine, Roche felt like an impostor in medical school, and she had nightmares that her admission had been a mistake. Over time, her confidence grew and her commitment to her career strengthened: she was rising at 4 am to fit her study in with her childcare commitments.

In the clinical years, her past collided with her medical life as old friends sporadically appeared on the wards. Roche was gradually coming to terms with her past, and as the course came to a close, she became more open about it with her classmates. She graduated from medicine in 1991, aged 30.

Bent not Broken is not only an account of Roche's journey to the medical world, but is also a story of survival, personal strength, and, at times, luck. It is proof that life can be turned around, and that adversity can be overcome by hope and resilience.

Roche's literary style is gutsy, uninhibited, and confrontational. She “calls a spade a spade,” evoking emotion without trying—merely by stating the facts. This book is not for the faint hearted and can be very dark at times. Yet the darkness is always sparkled with hope and Roche maintains a sense of humour in the face of great adversity.

The book ends at Roche's graduation from Otago medical school, and I would have liked to learn about her life as a doctor. As Roche's autobiography is in two parts, I look forward to reading about the second part of her journey in the sequel, Life on the Line, released in Autumn 2002 (for more information see www.writerfind.com/lroche.htm).