Just one look

Communication is important in all aspects of life, although in few situations as important as those in which we find ourselves as healthcare professionals. I had always considered communication to be one of my stronger skills, but role playing and patient contact in my medical training has forced me to reflect on my interpersonal skills. Despite being only a short way into my course I have experienced many poignant moments that have caused deep reflection, although none more than the example below, which will remain with me for the rest of my career.

During a clinical placement in an emergency department I witnessed an extremely distressed woman with a severe myocardial infarction brought to the hospital by ambulance. She was in obvious distress, partly because of the extreme pain she was experiencing, but mostly because she was all too aware of what was occurring and was scared for her life. Any verbal communication with the patient from the medical staff helping her was unlikely to have been heard over the loud cries and screams. But for one moment, her eyes, which were glancing wildly around the room, caught mine. She looked directly into my eyes as if to say “help me.” In that brief moment I felt her panic, her loneliness, and her despair, but I was not able to do anything to help her. I felt overwhelmingly uncomfortable and looked away. Ten minutes later she died.

What would have ordinarily seemed unimportant eye contact had become a missed opportunity to help and may have added to the anguish of a scared woman during her last moments of life. Since this incident I have reflected many times on what I could have done to make the patient feel less anxious, more hopeful, or simply less lonely at what must have been a terrifying time. Moments like these are difficult to plan for, but I hope that in the future I will become less afraid of making a connection with a dying person. I hope I could communicate back with voice, body language, or merely the touch of a hand to let the patient know that he or she is not alone and is surrounded by people who care.

There will undoubtedly be many moments during my professional career at which there is little or nothing more I can do for my patient. Part of our role as doctors will be to help patients during their pathway to the end of life. If I can do nothing else I will be sure I overcome my own discomfort in these emotionally charged circumstances and identify my patient’s emotional needs and offer empathy. Next time I hope not to look away.

       

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